Lower your gaze

Asalaamu’alaykum,

I’ll be talking from the perspective of a 21 year old Muslim male. However you can switch some of the points and consider it from a sisters point of view.

We live in a society with people from all over the world with many different cultures, and therefore not everyone will act in the same way. For example when I was in Madinah, the majority were in respectful Muslim clothing all with similar goals in life. This is certainly not the case in London.

As a muslim we need to get used to this, we can’t expect every female to be wearing an abaya or hijab. This is an important point as many Muslims complain they can’t lower their gaze because the females here dress in a so and so manner. Lowering your gaze is so much more than that, in fact it’s evidence of stronger faith to lower your gaze when the temptation is greater. You are required to lower your gaze regardless if the the female is wearing hijab or no hijab or exposing her body.

Another misconception I find is that brothers apply lowering your gaze to just Muslim girls? What sort of logic is that! How can you lower your gaze past a well dressed sister and stare your eyes out at another non muslim, It makes no sense. In fact some restrict lowering their gaze to only sisters in hijab, and will look at non hijab wearing sisters. How flawed.

The fact is that all non-mahram woman are not permissible for you and we have been instructed to lower your gaze.

The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “O Ali, do not follow one glance with another, for you may be allowed the first but not the second.” (1)

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts…” [al-Noor 24:30]

I see it as a great reward for everytime I lower my gaze because you are fighting your nafs and your internal desires. Without a doubt looking at the opposite gender is a natural action, but the strength in emaan is to control that. It’s also a test of patience, such a magnificent virtue.

Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision. [An-Nur 24:26]

I constantly remind myself of this ayah, and I have firm belief that the manner I act in will be reflective in my future spouse. For example If I have several sinful traits such as talking to girls freely then my future wife would have a similar deficit in one way or another. Therefore when I remember this it makes it easier to lower my gaze, If I do it then perhaps my future wife may also lower her gaze from men who are not lawful for her.

Additionally why would I need to stare at every girl I come across? To acknowledge their beauty? La! This can only form false expectations of finding the prettiest wife in the world which may lead to disappointment. You can’t stare at inappropriate pictures or celebrities and create an image of perfective beauty for a future spouse! So lowering your gaze will protect you from this.

How beautiful is the prospect of two young Muslims seeking the pleasure of their Lord coming together to help each other in pursuing their goal in entering Jannah. However I may add that there will of course be similar situations after marriage, but the same rules apply. Tell your wife she’s beautiful. Read the seerah. You can learn so many lessons on how he played and interacted with his wives. This should give you little reason to stare at other women!

However the main reason for lowering your gaze should really be that our prophet Muhammad ﷺ instructed us to do this and Allah mentions this in the Qur’an.

I urge my Muslim brothers to read and understand this, wallahi there are only benefits upon benefits in following Islam. Make an intention from now and try, for surely you’ll be rewarded for making such an intention.

Asalaamu’alaykum.

——

(1) Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2701; classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami‘, 7953.